ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
