If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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