It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
