The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize