My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
