This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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