If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
