Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
