so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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