I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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