So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
