I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
