Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
