no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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