I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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