Soap is not a condiment
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Randomize
