doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
