i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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