can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
