protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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