He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
