Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
