What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
