This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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