Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
