im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
