I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She swung at the pinata with crutches
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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