Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
