Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
