I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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