turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize