And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
