walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
