bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
