Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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