This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
