Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize