Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
