I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize