she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This baby is an asshole
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
