she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
