apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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