if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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