a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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