yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
