I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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