I want to stick my p in your. b.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize