You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
