It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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