is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
