You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
