Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
