we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
