its not stalking. its research.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
