carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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