he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
