I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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