I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
