yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
time to smoke my breakfast
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
