Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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